Bobcats Game

Last Friday, our principal told the 5th grade teachers to select four students each to go to the Bobcats game on Monday.  I selected four of my students who consistently make good choices.  I didn't realize that we were the ones who would be taking the kids to the game.  Mondays are tough no matter what, but working a 16-hour day makes it especially long.  This was the first day I literally did not see Jackson awake the entire day.  I felt incredibly guilty for putting my students before my child.

Despite internal struggles over balancing teaching and motherhood, I had a really fantastic evening.  We had Papa Johns delivered to the school at 5:30, ate, then drove uptown to the arena.  Each of the students were excited, but one of my homeless students made some especially precious comments.  He asked if we were watching the game from the inside or outside.  I didn't understand what he meant.  He clarified, "Do we get to go inside or are we watching it on the TV?"  He was referring to the jumbotron outside facing the street.  He had the absolute biggest grin on his face after I assured him that we would be sitting inside the coliseum.

Our seats were clearly in the nosebleed section, but the kids knew no better.  It was really amazing watching their enthusiastic reactions.  Their innocence and playful nature was highlighted during the halftime show watching inflatable character and eating popcorn and cotton candy.  Amidst all the attitudes and disrespect I deal with on a daily basis, it's too easy to forget that my students are 11 year old kids who just want to have fun.  I am grateful to have shared the experience with my teammates and some of my favorite students.

The Bobcats lost but they were neck and neck with the 76ers throughout the game.  I drove my students home and finally made it home myself around 10:45 p.m.  I woke Jackson up to cuddle with him before crashing in the bed. 

(Sidenote: The following morning my teammate informed me that the student she took home violently threw up three times in her new car.  I can't even begin to tell you how poorly I would have reacted had I been in her shoes.)

Oldie But a Goodie--Dominican Republic

Jesse and I can't figure out why, but both of our cameras are not working.  (Hence the lack of recent blogs and pictures.)  I went digging through the closet for my old camera I used in college.  To my excitement, not only did I find my camera but it still had an old SD card inside.  I've spent the past hour browsing through photographs from college. 

My favorite photos are from our mission trip to the Dominican Republic in 2008.  I had forgotten the details of sleeping in mosquito nets, seeing the rainbow after the torrential downpour, catching tarantulas, and making arts and crafts with the children of the orphanage.  One of my favorite memories from the trip is hiking to the top of a mountain to watch the sunrise over the coast.

It's hard to fathom what a different place Jesse and I were in four years ago. 

I can't wait 'til we have the opportunity to travel and serve on another mission trip. 

My Valentines

After a very late night last night (more on that later), I was exhausted and struggling to get out of bed this morning.  Jesse brought me two sweet surprises.

1. This adorable card "from Jackson" which had a thoughtful message inside:

2. My engagement ring, which I literally have not worn in a year.  This was initially due to my swollen pregnancy fingers, and later because I misplaced it.

I absolutely loved spending the evening with my boys.  It is such a blessing to be loved and to have two sweet boys to love.

10 Months Old!?!

At ten months old, Jackson:

• has ten teeth (6 on the top and 4 on the bottom)
• has finally mastered crawling, though he enjoys rolling, too
• eats anything and everything, with the exception of applesauce
• laughs when he is told "no" or to "stop"
• enjoys playing in the cats' water bowl and food dishes
• rearranges our DVDs, CDs, spices, and pots and pans
• still uses a pacifier throughout the day
• wakes up once a night to eat (courtesy of Jesse)
• naps three times a day for about an hour per nap
• takes Zantac twice a day for reflux
• is just becoming interested in pulling up, standing, and attempting to climb the stairs
• makes a variety of sounds, including "MaMa", "DaDa", "ticka-ticka-ticka" and "dig-ah-dig-ah"
• loves splashing in the bathtub, but hates getting his hair washed
• had to have his crib mattress lowered due to pulling himself up
• is as playful, social, and happy as always

Thanks for the last picture, MiMi.



Self-Discoveries

Over the past few months, I have realized the following things:

1. I seriously H-A-T-E trying to conceive.  I hate the uncertainty, the paranoia, the disappointment of seeing only one line.  Mostly I hate how obsessive and impatient I become.  I hate not having control and not being able to plan my life according to my timeline. 

2. I love being in school.  I am book smart.  I like learning.  I like research.  I went through 13 years of public school, then immediately completed my undergrad.  I took a year off before working towards my Master's Degree.  I completed my last class Feb. 14, 2011 and am very eager to go back for my doctorate.

3. I really enjoy baking and decorating cakes, though I also get especially frustrated trying to make things look exactly the way I picture them in my mind.  I know plenty of people who are much more talented than I am, but I take pleasure in pleasing others with sweets.  I used to think I could make cakes for money, but I don't think I would be very good at it or make enough money for it to be worth it.

4. I LOVE being a mother, much more than I thought I could.  While I was pregnant, I was very nervous about bonding with Jackson.  I was never a fan of infants and I still don't especially love other people's babies all that much.  However, I absolutely love motherhood and am amazed at how much I care for Jackson.

5. One of my greatest talents is gaining and losing weight.  Seriously, weight just falls off when I try to actually lose weight.  And the pounds pack back on when I stop caring.  I pretty much fail at maintaining a healthy weight.

The Best Part of My Day Is...

Coming home to this guy! 

 By the way, we are officially on the move!

No Accountability

Note: I in no way claim to know how to fix this cycle of failure and poverty.  I do not consider my students to be failures, though I fear their circumstances will determine their future.  I suppose there's little good in complaining when you aren't part of the solution; I just don't know what the solution is. 

Each of these incidents have occurred within the past 24 hours. 

Our kids rotate to each teacher throughout the week to receive the science content in various formats.  I am responsible for weekly science labs.  This week was a fun lab on human impact of land and erosion, specifically mining.  Each student received a cookie, took the area of the cookie, used a toothpick to excavate the chocolate chips, then took the area of their cookie afterwards to determine amount of land loss.  The lesson went ideally, with the exception of the last three minutes in one class.  Of the 60+ students that completed this lab, four students thought it would be cool to line their cookie crumbs up, close one nostril, and snort the crumbs as if they were snorting crack.  The students were coughing and one student even got a nosebleed.  Their parents were notified by their homeroom teacher and talked to the principal.

Oh, and remember that kid who was selling razors?  He has learned not only how to disassemble pencil sharpeners, but also scissors.  His new hobby includes breaking scissors and passing around the blades to various friends, threatening to jump other students, chasing his peers off the bus, and lying repeatedly.  I caught him with the blades during literacy class and we all spent a good portion of my afternoon in the principal's office with his mother.  His consequence was having his parents notified.

In addition to the cookie snorting and blade distributions, two students had a yelling match that resulted in throwing chairs and another fifth grader slapped a first grader on the bus. Each of these students received silent lunch and had their recess taken away.  The latter events were not under my supervision, though they very well could have been. 

Our students are not allowed to receive an F on their report card, even if they fail every single test and don't complete homework or classwork.  Our administration doesn't want to discourage students with "negative labels".  I forgot to manually change one student's grade so his report card was withheld until the secretary returns to school on Monday.

There is absolutely no accountability or consequences for our students regarding behavior or academics.  And we wonder why the school is the lowest performing elementary school in the district and in the 5% lowest performing in the state.