Thoughts on Being a Career Mom--Tuesday, May 10

I've been thinking a lot about my students as the End of Grade tests are quickly approaching next week.  I want to be at school so badly to go over those last minute reviews with my kids and instill the confidence in them that they will succeed.  My mother-in-law asked me on Sunday how my first week alone with Jackson was and I said it was okay but I would like to be able to work.  Then this morning I was reading a post on BabyCenter about mothers of newborns wanting to go back to work.  I copied some of their responses because I thought the women beautifully articulated exactly what I think and feel:

"I feel like there is more to me than being a mom and when I deny myself all parts of myself than I am not as happy and I feel like something is missing." 

"I know that in my case, I work at a profession that I'm very good at; I can anticipate and control most of what happens in my day.  On the other hand, life with a newborn makes just about everybody feel out of control.  You can't control when your newborn eats, sleeps, or poops, and you often can't tell what LO needs (especially during those fussy times when she doesn't seem to want anything except to cry)."

"I think for me it was just that work was something familiar that I knew how to do!  Being a FTM, having a baby around the house was all new, and I was not nearly as confident about being a mom as I was about work.  The more I bonded with my DS, the more confident about being a Mom I became!"

I feel good about my decision to go back to work next year, though I'm sure it will be difficult to do so in August.  I love that I live in a time period where it is acceptable for me to work and for my husband to stay home.  I also love that I am able to have this opportunity to bond with my son and grow in confidence as a mother.
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I literally watched TV and curled up with Jackson all day until Jesse came home.  Of course there were lots of diaper changes and feedings in between, but absolutely nothing else.  We were very content!  Jackson has been smiling so much today.  I know it's still early for real smiles, but he definitely smiles when I talk to him.

I was really impressed that I was able to pump 7 oz at one session in only 10 minutes.  I've never pumped anywhere close to that amount, so that is really exciting.  Unfortunately, the 4 oz bottle we had prepared for Jackson wasn't enough to satisfy him so I know his appetite is increasing.  I am curious to see how much Jackson weighs at his 1 month check up tomorrow.

Even more evidence to indicate how large my baby is growing-he can fit in several 3 month outfits.  I know some brands run smaller, but he is definitely outgrowing newborn clothing and even some 0-3 month clothes are tight.  We put him in these adorable 3 month pajamas after bath time tonight.  Now off to bed...