You Want to Take Him for the Whole Day???

The other night my in laws were over and we were laughing and telling stories.  Jesse's mom suddenly said in a serious tone, "Well, here's some food for thought.  Jeff and I would like to take Jackson for the day one Saturday.  Just think it over."  I appreciate the fact that she knew this would be hard for me and to give me time to consider it.  Jackson spending the day with his grandparents should not be a big deal, yet my nerves are shot! 

I used to make fun of my oldest sister because she was always so protective over her son.  She wouldn't let him spend the night with our mom and she used to be very nervous about me driving him to the library or to the museum.  I always thought, "What's the big deal.  Do you not trust us?" 

I 100% completely trust Jan and Jeff.  In fact, we're trying to work it out so that Jeff can watch Jackson while Jesse and I go back to work.  But work is an obligation.  Why on earth would I choose to give up time with my son for a whole day?  I've never left him for more than two hours.  Ever.  Of course a big part of that is due to breastfeeding since I am either tied to him or the pump every few hours.  But I want to be with him.  I don't even like Jesse taking him for more than an hour. 

I would have never, ever thought I would have such a reaction.  I don't want to be one of those possessive mothers.  One of my favorite outfits (that Jackson has already outgrown) says "Property of Mom Forever".  Jesse joked that we needed to make a onesie that would fit an 18 year old and write the same phrase on it. 

The fact of the matter is that our leisurely days together are numbered.  I will be going back to work sooner than I care to think about.  I have to get used to the idea of spending less time with my child.  We've agreed to drop Jackson off and try to make a fun day out of it.  I asked Jesse what he would like for us to do that we can't do with Jackson.  His response was, "Go to a bar".  Umm, I can't recall a time when we ever went to a bar, but okay.  I suggested going to see a movie or going hiking.  Either way, we've got a week and a half to decide and give me time to start loosening the leash. 

I guess I should start praying now for strength come August.