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Thursday, February 19, 2015

25 Signs You Have a Large Family

I don't claim to have a large family, but I have more kids than any of my friends. Having four children is significantly different than having one or two kids. Here are things I've learned about having a large family, between being a mother of four and the youngest of five.
  1. Your monthly grocery shopping budget is almost as much as your mortgage.
  2. There is no such thing as a "24-hour bug" in your house. When the first victim succumbs to the plague, you expect a 4-day minimum for the virus to make its rounds through your family.
  3. You've spent the better part of a decade diapering children.
  4. You rejoiced the day double-seated shopping carts arrived at your local grocery store.
  5. While out in public together, you are frequently asked, "Are they all yours?"
  6. Receiving your tax refund is better than Christmas.
  7. If your van were to ever break down, it would take multiple vehicles to transport your family.
  8. Hand-me-downs are the only clothes your younger children have ever worn.
  9. You have a membership to Sam's or Costco and regularly buy items in bulk.
  10. The only time your family has ever gone out to eat is when it was a Kids Eat Free night.
  11. Your family exceeds the maximum occupancy in a hotel room.
  12. When at the zoo or park, you quickly do a head-count to make sure you have everyone.
  13. Scheduling parent-teacher conferences gives you a migraine. 
  14. Your kitchen table takes up the entire dining room.
  15. Trying to take a family picture is like herding cats.
  16. You have to buy more than one "family size" box of food to feed your family.
  17. Your entryway is littered with shoes. So. Many. Shoes.
  18. You make school lunches in an assembly line.
  19. You have a stockpile of birthday and Christmas gifts that you've purchased on clearance throughout the year.
  20. You have called your child by their siblings' names as often as you've called them by their own name.
  21. You are never early to anything. You feel accomplished if you are on time.
  22. Your definition of personal space is being able to sit down without someone in your lap.
  23. At any given time you have one load of laundry in the washer, one in the dryer, and one in a basket waiting to be folded.
  24. You have a small panic attack every time you consider how you'll be able to pay for car insurance and college tuition for everyone.
  25. You have learned to embrace the noise and mess that fills your home.

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