It Is Finished

Okay, okay...I know I'm not Jesus. But I certainly bowed my head and exhaled this afternoon when I resigned from teaching. I may or may not have sobbed hysterically multiple times throughout the day.

I know resigning was the right thing to do.
I know we can't afford daycare expenses for four children.
I know I don't trust anyone else to come in my home and raise my children.
I know I am not only capable, but also enjoy providing fun, educational opportunities for my children.

But...

I know how much I love being a classroom teacher.
I know how hard I worked to earn my master's degree and National Boards.
I know how monotonous being a stay at home mother is.
I know that life will only get harder with three toddlers and a preschooler.

I will always have a preconceived notion that stay at home moms are lazy. They lack the education, drive, and work-ethic to get a real job. They watch soap operas all day and demand their drinks be refilled with a shake of their glass.

I am not and will not be that kind of mother.
I want so much more for myself and for my children.
I want to give all of myself to my children while they need me most.
I want to be the one to watch each new milestone with pride.

But...

That doesn't mean that today wasn't a difficult day.