Self-Discoveries

Over the past few months, I have realized the following things:

1. I seriously H-A-T-E trying to conceive.  I hate the uncertainty, the paranoia, the disappointment of seeing only one line.  Mostly I hate how obsessive and impatient I become.  I hate not having control and not being able to plan my life according to my timeline. 

2. I love being in school.  I am book smart.  I like learning.  I like research.  I went through 13 years of public school, then immediately completed my undergrad.  I took a year off before working towards my Master's Degree.  I completed my last class Feb. 14, 2011 and am very eager to go back for my doctorate.

3. I really enjoy baking and decorating cakes, though I also get especially frustrated trying to make things look exactly the way I picture them in my mind.  I know plenty of people who are much more talented than I am, but I take pleasure in pleasing others with sweets.  I used to think I could make cakes for money, but I don't think I would be very good at it or make enough money for it to be worth it.

4. I LOVE being a mother, much more than I thought I could.  While I was pregnant, I was very nervous about bonding with Jackson.  I was never a fan of infants and I still don't especially love other people's babies all that much.  However, I absolutely love motherhood and am amazed at how much I care for Jackson.

5. One of my greatest talents is gaining and losing weight.  Seriously, weight just falls off when I try to actually lose weight.  And the pounds pack back on when I stop caring.  I pretty much fail at maintaining a healthy weight.