WIC

I officially joined the ranks of the thousands of low-income families in our county that benefit from WIC. There was no question that we would qualify based on the one measly NC teacher salary to support our family of six. I had no need to apply for WIC this past year since the triplets primarily received breastmilk, then formula through the Enfamil multiples program. However, now that the trio consume one half-gallon of soy milk a day, along with three full meals, the prices add up quickly! And unlike last year, I will not receive any performance bonuses this year so I will not be able to make any financial contributions. (Even though I did not work last year, I was able to pay the mortgage every month through various bonuses and stipends from my student's scores the previous year.)

Our WIC appointment was painfully humbling. I would have left in tears if Jesse had not gone with me. Even though we had a scheduled appointment time, it took 2.5 hours from entering the health department until we returned to the parking lot. I was disappointed that there were absolutely no toys, books, or entertainment for the children to play with. I wasn't about to let the babies crawl all over the health department floors. I was not prepared to have to keep the babies confined to the stroller or our laps. I didn't think to bring Jackson's LeapPad or anything to occupy him. 

Thank God I brought the printout from the triplet's one year well check the day before. We avoided having to undress each baby for weight checks. More importantly, we avoided repeated finger pricks to check iron levels. Unfortunately, Jackson was less than cooperative during his weight check and finger prick. I was humiliated by his outburst. He absolutely refused to stand on the scale. I was eventually asked to stand on the scale by myself, then while holding him, so they could get an accurate weight. Jackson violently kicked and screamed while numerous parents watched with disgusted faces (as if their children have never had temper tantrums). The finger prick was equally traumatic.

The entire process was tedious and unorganized. We were herded around like cattle from one room to the next, with nothing to occupy the children. Each worker had a different title, such as "the nutritionist" and "the interviewer". Most of the employees were apathetic and cold. The nutritionist told us Amelia had low iron and Maddie was average for weight. Jesse and I just exchanged "what the hell" looks and kept our mouths closed.

As frustrating as the process was, the actual program provides tremendous support.  We will receive a great deal of food through WIC. We received vouchers for the next three months. Each child has two vouchers per month. Maddie and James have the same vouchers (pictured below) with soy milk. Amelia and Jackson both receive cow's milk and cheese.  This is one of eight vouchers we have per month.

If I wasn't embarrassed enough during the WIC appointment, I felt absurd getting on my hands and knees looking for which items were WIC approved. The tiny "W" that indicates whether or not an item is approved is at the very top of the price tag. That slip is narrowly covered up in the refrigerated section so I had to try and take the tag out to confirm I was selecting the correct soymilk.

I quickly learned the many rules for using WIC vouchers in NC.

• You have to buy everything on each voucher at once. If you don't buy something at that time, you will not receive it. 
• You should give the WIC voucher to the cashier before the transaction begins.
• Each voucher should be separate transactions. So if I were buying anything else, such as a jar of applesauce, I would have to separate my purchases. The applesauce could not be scanned with the other items.
• You must sign the check after the cashier rings up the items. The cashier keeps the check.
• I am the only person who can use and sign the WIC checks. (Jesse cannot.)
• The check-out process takes a bit longer. Impatient people will grumble and stare.

Here is what we were able to receive with the one voucher pictured above. 

We will return to the WIC office in three months for a (supposedly) 20 minute appointment and receive vouchers for the next three months. Three months after that, we will repeat the 2+ hour process with weight checks and blood work. That totals four appointments per year, where children are required to attend every other appointment. I will make every effort to schedule WIC appointments immediately after well-checks so I can simply forward the doctor's notes to the WIC workers.

I wish I could say I felt no shame whatsoever applying for and using WIC vouchers. I wish I hadn't pridefully debated whether or not I should write this post for the past week. I wish I wasn't resentful about being a low-income family, despite the fact that I have a Master's Degree and National Board Certification. But just like I ended a previous post with, having triplets changes all plans. I'm still learning to roll with the punches and make things work, all while smiling.

You Know It's Hot When...

...your coconut oil is permanently liquid.

...while sitting on the couch, Jackson asks, "Why my hair wet?"

...you go outside to cool off because you can at least feel a breeze.

...your children wake up with runny noses from the windows being open all night.

...your living room is so humid your legs stick to the couch.

...you wish Mr. Miyagi could come catch all the flies that have come inside from the open doors.

...Jackson proclaims, "I can touch the roof!" after discovering a rip in the upstairs window screen.

...you refuse to use the oven because it only adds to the heat.

...Maddie's legs are covered in heat rashes.

...showering is pointless.

...your living room thermostat reads 89°.



After over a week without any air conditioning and receiving multiple estimates on new air conditioners, we selected a small company to replace our entire dilapidated unit (furnace and AC).  They could not replace the unit the same day (or the next day) so they gave us a large unit to keep the nursery cool.

Two more days, over 10 hours of labor, and nearly $7,000 later, our house is now a cool 72°.

Ah, the joys of being a homeowner.  At least we shouldn't have to worry about heating or air for the next 10+ years.  Paying the mortgage, on the other hand, could be tricky.

The Fun Just Keeps Coming

A glimpse into the last 48 hours of my life:

Jackson's tantrums are going to be the death of me. Seriously, he just blatantly does not listen. The worst part is that my reaction feeds his behavior. I try so hard not to let things escalate, but sometimes I am just at a loss.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

This handy dandy picture might not seem like much, but it equates to $800 worth of parts and service we paid to repair our air conditioner. After an entire day of nearly unbearable heat, Jesse came home early and called a repairman. I'm so thankful we didn't buy a new dishwasher.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

This sweet girl has kept Jesse and I up for hours this week. After two consecutive nights of trying to soothe her screams (not cries or fussing, I mean screaming bloody murder), I took her to the pediatrician this morning. I thought it would be a quick, easy visit since Jesse was home with the kids and I had a 10:30 appointment. At 11:45, I had nearly lost my mind trying to entertain Amelia while we continued to wait. That is not a typo; we waited over an hour. When the doctor finally came in, she casually apologized for the wait and explained that the office was on lockdown due to a police chase. Final verdict: sweet baby girl has another ear infection. I was not the most polite or patient person and I believe the doctor took pity on us. She prescribed numbing drops for the ears to use on Amelia until the antibiotics kick in.

Dishwasher Dilemma Resolved

We always set our dishwasher to run at night because it is loud. I'd keep the kitchen clean and fill the dishwasher. Jesse would set it to start at midnight and unload it in the mornings before work. 

A few weeks ago, we thought the timer was messed up because it never seemed to work. Dirty dishes were filling the sink and dishwasher. The dishwasher would start but never release the soap and actually clean. After wasting who knows how much water, Jesse called an appliance repair company. They sent someone out two weeks ago. The man informed us that the control board was malfunctioning and our dishwasher was leaking behind it. Since it would cost over $400 to repair it and the parts were only under warranty for 90 days, he suggested we buy a new one. Then he charged us $79 for the house call.

Though Jesse assures me that we have enough emergency funds, I refuse to spend several hundred dollars for convenience. (If I did, we would have fixed the van door a long time ago.) A dishwasher is not a necessity, though it's certainly a huge time saver. Thankfully, a friend posted on my Facebook wall that her brother was renovating and planned on donating his current appliances to the Kidney Foundation. He would give it to us for free as long as we picked it up. 

We had poor communication and lots of going back and forth between my friend. Finally, the owner asked if we could come Wednesday night. I read that e-mail request on Wednesday afternoon and called Jesse to figure out our plans. He came home right after work and began to take our old dishwasher out. It didn't come out as easily as he thought, which should have been expected. Several YouTube videos later, the dishwasher was out. However, our kitchen sink could not be used since we had to cut the water off to prevent flooding.

I called the owner to tell her my husband was on his way. I got the answering machine multiple times, which meant they weren't home. Jesse decided to go ahead anyway since she had requested that evening. He and Jack took the carseats out of the van and laid the seats down to make room for our "new" dishwasher. After lots of calls, texting, and meandering around nearby stores, Jesse came home sans dishwasher two hours later. He also had to put the old dishwasher back in so I could use the sink, and put the carseats back in the van so I could drop Jackson off at preschool the next day. It was a long night for Jesse!

I played phone tag with the owner for a few more days before we decided to pick it up on Saturday at 10 a.m. The second attempt was a success!  

Jesse began installing the dishwasher on Saturday afternoon. He had a very curious helper.

Jesse doesn't have the best track record when it comes to home improvement. Miraculously, he installed the new dishwasher without any complications!  It may not match our other appliances, but we are well past the point of caring.  We are now proud owners of a quiet, clean, properly working dishwasher. 

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

When I pulled into the garage after Maddie's appointment yesterday, Jesse was already home so the car was parked on the left side.  It was just Maddie and I in the van.  Maddie is on the driver's side. I quickly unbuckled her and carried her inside to tell Jesse about the appointment.

This morning I decided to take the kids to an indoor playground.  I loaded all four kids into the van, but I had apparently parked too close to the right side wall yesterday.  I couldn't walk around to buckle Jackson's carseat.  I secured the babies and told Jackson to wait just a moment; I was going to back out of the garage and walk around to his side to buckle him in.

The right side van door was open.
I put the van in reverse.
I heard a scraping sound.
I drove forward to straighten the van out.
I reversed again into the driveway.
I put the van in park and walked around to Jack's side.
I buckled Jackson's carseat.
I pressed the button to close the automatic van door.
I heard more sounds of metal scraping.
I took the keys out of the ignition and began to investigate.

I could not have been going any faster than 2 mph.  And yet I managed to catch part of the van door on the garage track.  The automatic van door became completely misaligned and would NOT close.

I cursed a lot.
Jackson cried because he couldn't get out on his side and he wanted to go to the playground.
The neighbor came over and tried to help me shut the van door.
We were able to close it enough where there was just a small opening.

I covered Jackson in a blanket and drove to the dealership.
The van beeped loudly throughout the entire ride since the door wasn't closed. 
Jackson requested I turn the radio up.
I drove through the service area at the dealership.
The service worker informed me that I would have to go to the body repair shop.
I drove to the body repair shop.
After an hour with four children, the repairman gave me the cost estimate:
It will cost $963 and take four days to fix the van.

I asked the repairman if he could close the door completely. 
He bent some metal and pushed so hard that the van shook. 
I cranked the van and was relieved that the beeping had stopped and the door was shut. 
I vowed to never open the right side door again.
I drove home.

Once back in the driveway at home, I pressed the garage door opener.
The garage door got stuck after opening a mere foot.
I army crawled through the garage to determine the problem.
I was able to open the garage door by applying weight against the door.
I drove the van in through the garage.

I cursed some more and drank a beer.

View From the Dashboard

It's been one hell of a day.

We had a usual Friday morning and headed off to my sister's house for our weekly play/lunch date.  I stopped by the ATM to get some cash so I would be able to pay a friend back for lunch before heading down the interstate.  Jackson cracked me up when he shouted, "Look, Mommy!  There's Santa and his reindeer!"  I had no clue what he was talking about but he was quite persistent.  I finally made the connection when I saw the sign.  Ha!

Us adults enjoyed Jersey Mike's subs and adult conversation while the kids played as usual.  The kids and I also visited my other sister.  When I was leaving my sister's house the gaslight went on in the van.  I've always gotten a bit of a thrill seeing how long I can drive with the gaslight on, but I've never run out of gas.  I wasn't too worried since the light just came on, but I also didn't want to take any chances during rush hour on a Friday afternoon. I pulled into a gas station and got out to start pumping my gas.  I could NOT find my debit card.  I dug through my purse and the van, but still couldn't find it.  I emptied out the diaper bag and middle console, looked through the carseats...everywhere.  It dawned on me that I never remembered retrieving my debit card from the ATM.  Feeling completely defeated, I drove away without any gas. 

I coasted about fifteen miles down the interstate before the van just completely stopped.  I was in the fast lane and miraculously managed to pull over on the left shoulder.  It was 4 p.m. on Friday, which meant traffic was beginning to pick up.  I called Jesse, explained the situation, and waited about 40 minutes for him to arrive with a full gas can.  The babies were still sleeping and Jackson was his usual silly, inquisitive self.  After half an hour, the babies began to wake up hungry.  Jackson started to get antsy.  And I became increasingly more anxious as the van shook with each passing car. 

I was so relieved when I saw Jesse pull up behind us.  He transferred the fuel into the van's gas tank. I put the key in the ignition and tried to crank it, but the van would not start.  I tried several more times.  Nothing.  At this point all four kids were screaming.  Jesse tried to start the van.  Still nothing.   By this time it was nearly 5:00, which meant it was peak rush hour.  It also meant it was time for the babies to eat, but I didn't have any bottles prepared and we were stranded on the side of a busy interstate.  Jesse and I quickly assessed the situation and agreed that our priority was getting the kids home.  Jesse could take Jackson and one baby in his car, but we still needed another car that could transport the other two babies.  After a few quick calls we had a plan.  Ten minutes later my brother-in-law came to the rescue and a tow truck was on the way to get the van.

Somehow we all managed to avoid any major meltdowns or panic attacks.  Now we just wait to figure out what's going on with the van and if it will cost us.  Fingers crossed...



Our two hour view from the dashboard as cars zoom by at 80 mph

Crunching Numbers

I'm pretty dead set on staying home one more year.  I've been spending a lot of time this week exploring ways to make that work.  Jesse and I have one joint bank account in addition to our own individual bank accounts.  The mortgage comes out of my account each month through automatic billpay.  Jesse covers all other expenses.  In order for me to stay home, I need to somehow be able to pay the mortgage for another year.  This means I need to save/earn roughly $13,000.  Is this possible?  I'm leaning towards yes.

-I assume we can expect a sizable tax return in a few months, in addition to another tax return in 2015. 
-As far as jobs go, I think my best bet would be tutoring.  I sent out an e-mail to all 5th grade teachers that teach at schools within a 15 minute radius to pass my contact information and credentials along to parents. 
-A local mom suggested I apply to Sylvan or another tutoring program.  She was a stay at home mom/former teacher and worked from 5-7 two days a week on 9-1 on Saturdays.  That is definitely doable.
-I've been checking local listings through mother's groups and applied for a position for sitter/cleaner from 5-6:30 two days a week.  I haven't heard back and suspect that I won't, but I'll keep looking.
-Another mom suggested I take in another child during the day to watch, but I think that would be an awfully tough sell.  I would never have sent Jackson to stay with a mother I didn't know who already had four young children of her own.

I have to believe that something will work out and I'll be able to care for my children while contributing financially.  If anyone local has any leads, I'm all ears!

To Work or Not To Work

I still have no clue what I'm going to do next year.  NO CLUE!  We basically have four options.  I can:
1. continue as a stay at home mom all day while Jesse works
2. stay home during the day and find part time work at night or on weekends
2. return to teaching and put the children in daycare
4. return to teaching and find a nanny

Here are the pros and cons for each scenario:


1. continue as a stay at home mom all day while Jesse works

Pros

Cons

-I won’t miss any milestones with my kids.  I get to love and kiss on them, teach them, take them anywhere, etc.  Even though this is only advantage, it is so important to me and could outweigh all the disadvantages.

--I will spend another year without health insurance, which makes me nervous. --We will seriously struggle financially (I contributed over $10,000 this year from paid maternity leave and performance bonuses based on last year’s test results.  That money is no longer available.) --We would be unable to afford preschool for Jackson, which means he would miss out on structured learning/peer socialization.

2. stay home during the day and find part time work at night or on weekends

Pros

Cons

-I won’t miss any milestones with my kids.  I get to love and kiss on them, teach them, take them anywhere, etc.  -With part time work, I could still watch my children grow but I would also have an opportunity to interact with adults and have a break from kids.  --Ideally, I would find fulfillment using my experience or expertise.

--Jesse and I would basically be single, working parents.  We chose this route Jackson’s first year and it was challenging to never spend time together as a family.  It was also stressful on our marriage. --I will spend another year without health insurance, which makes me nervous. --Part time jobs aren’t always the easiest to find.  Ideally I would tutor kids on the side or sell cakes, but I don’t know if that could provide enough income.  I would really hate to work retail or fast food.  That’s not why I went to school for six years. --We would likely be unable to afford preschool for Jackson, which means he would miss out on structured learning/peer socialization.

3. return to teaching and put the children in daycare

Pros

Cons

--I could return to a career that I love and feel successful doing. --I would have health insurance. --Both Jesse and I would contribute equally. --Jackson thrives in school settings.  He would benefit greatly from the predictable routines, education, and peer socialization. --The babies would have attention from other peers and adults.  I suspect their language and development would explode in a daycare setting.  (They would begin daycare at 13 months old.)

--Most, if not all, of my paycheck would go to daycare. --We wouldn’t be able to cloth diaper.  Buying disposable diapers adds a large expense that we do not currently have. --I would only spend a few hours a day with my own children.  Those hours would likely be with tired, cranky children.  --It worked out really well last year for me to drop Jackson off and Jesse to pick him up. We don’t have that option anymore since whoever does drop off and pick up will have to drive the van.  The hassle of getting four kids fed, dressed, and out the door on time would definitely be an additional stress each morning.

4. return to teaching and find a nanny

Pros

Cons

--I could return to a career that I love and feel successful doing. --I would have health insurance. --Both Jesse and I would contribute equally. --There would be the convenience of leaving the house and coming home to my kids without having to lug everyone in and out of carseats. --Jesse and I would make the rules and the schedule.  We decide on cloth diapers, when to eat, how many naps to take, etc. --It should be cheaper than daycare.

--Most of my paycheck would go to a nanny. --It makes me nervous to rely on one person.  If she’s late, Jesse or I are late.  If she’s sick, Jesse or I stay home. (That wouldn’t be the case at a daycare.) --I would only spend a few hours a day with my own children.  Those hours would likely be with tired, cranky children.  --It would be a difficult search with lots of interviews.  Nobody is going to be me, so I would probably hate everyone at first. --There’s a good chance I would resent someone for knowing my own children better than I do. --Jackson wouldn’t have the socialization and education that I would like for him to have.  There’s no way we could afford a nanny AND preschool. --There are lots of complicating logistics if I expect the nanny to take all four kids out of the house (which I definitely do).  For exp: We would need to provide a van and/or four carseats.  If we traded cars while she was at work, we would have to added onto each other’s insurance.  Would we take out taxes or pay for any kind of healthcare?

Prayers and opinions are welcomed!

Medicaid Migraine

Here's the goose chase we've been on over the last six months:

June 10-We mailed the completed application for Medicaid (for myself and Jackson).  Even though I had Blue Cross Blue Shield through the end of maternity leave, I wanted to get us approved and in the system. The theory was that we could simply add the names of the children once they were born and it would go into effect ASAP. 

July 15-Happy birthday James, Amelia, and Madeline!

July 19-Babies had their first appointment with the pediatrician for weight checks.  Because they weren't expected to have insurance as newborns, the receptionist assumed they'd be added to my insurance. 

Late July-We still hadn't heard from Medicaid.  FYI, the phone system is ridiculous and there is no option to leave a voicemail.  Jesse went to DSS office, only to be told they never received our application.

August 1-Babies had two week check up with pediatrician.  Maddie was back up to birth weight and all three were healthy.  We were told we didn't need to schedule another appointment until two months old.

August 15-I receive a call from a social worker through the hospital.  She informed us that insurance claims must be made within 45 days of birth.  We only had two weeks from that phone call to make sure everything was processed. 

Late August-I spent every morning on the phone with hospital social workers, DSS, and case managers to try and check on the status of our Medicaid.

August 30-Medicaid cards were issued for all four children (with one day to spare).  Praise God!

September 18-We took babies to the pediatrician for their two month well-check (which included four immunizations per child).  The receptionist told us we would either need to pay upfront (almost $700) or reschedule because our Primary Care Physician was incorrect.  They would not accept our insurance until the PCP listed their provider number.

Mid September to Early October-I tried to call the customer service number dozens of times.  You have to listen to about 10 minutes of automated prompts and menus before being directed to the actual Medicaid office.  Again, there is no voicemail so if you don't get through you hear, "We're sorry.  We are currently assisting another client.  Please try again." before you are automatically disconnected.

October 16-Maddie and I went to DSS after her chiropractor appointment.  We waited in line for over an hour and finally got to talk to a kind social worker.  She inputed the correct information into the system and assured me the change would be updated within 7-10 business days.

November 5-We still had not received updated insurance cards.  After dropping Jackson off at preschool, the babies and I waited in line for almost two hours at DSS.  Another social worker looked up our information, confirmed that the PCP had been changed, but informed me that insurance cards were never issued to be mailed.  She requested that the cards be mailed and told me to call (what a joke!) if I didn't receive them within a week.

November 10-When we came back from the beach, we found four new insurance cards in the mail!  Unfortunately, they STILL had the wrong PCP listed!!!

November 12-After dropping Jackson off at preschool, the babies and I went to the pediatrician's office to try to resolve the issue.  The receptionist informed me that they cannot accept our insurance until their provider number is listed.  I happened to glance up and see a letter on the glass door that announced our beloved pediatrician had left the practice.  We still cannot schedule an appointment until our insurance cards are correct.  I was given a list of pediatricians in the area to contact.

Mid-November-I called all local pediatrics offices, only to be told that they are not accepting new Medicaid patients.  I continued to call DSS, only to be disconnected after sitting through the automated prompts.

November 27-Since Jesse had the day off, I was able to go to DSS by myself this time.  The line was rather short, and the social worker assured me that even though their electronic system was down, I would leave with an answer today.  I was given a number and directed towards another waiting area.  When my number was finally called, I went back to speak to a case worker directly.  Here was our conversation:
(I swear I'm not making this up!)

CW: How can I help you today?
Me: I need to update the PCP on my insurance cards.
CW: Did they not tell you that the system is down?
Me: Yes, but I...
CW (interrupted): Yet you chose to wait anyway?  What did you think I could do?
Me: Well, I've been up here four times before and...
CW (interrupted again): Oh, you don't have to explain.  I've heard it all.
I received a text, which caused my phone to vibrate in my purse.
CW: What is that?  Is that your phone?  My God that's annoying.  Turn that off.
Me: Okay.  So what am I supposed to do about the PCP?
CW: Well you can fill out the change of request form and I'll enter it in the system on Monday.  (Hands me the form.)
Me:  But I've already done that multiple times.
CW (rolls eyes): So you don't want me to change your PCP?  That's why you came in here.
Me: I just want to know what the problem is.  I've received new insurance cards but they still have...
CW (interrupted AGAIN): Right.  Well, the only other thing I can do is give you your personal case manager's phone number.
Me: Will that be a direct number?
CW: Yes.  We're closed until Monday.
Me: Fine.

At least I have something new to try on Monday.  The babies have not seen a doctor or had any immunizations in the last four months.  I feel angry and helpless, but I cannot afford the thousands of dollars in medical expenses.