Sunday, May 6, 2012

To Care or Not To Care, That Is the Question

Unhealthy Weight

To Care--In the year since giving birth, I have lost and gained weight more rapidly than ever before.  I know weight can affect fertility, mood, and overall energy levels.  Considering each of these factors have been unstable, it's probably time to care.  My family doesn't have the best track record and I should take my health more seriously.  Family and friends are bonding over bike rides and training for marathons while I sit and overindulge.

Not to Care--I get home between 5:30 and 6:00 each night.  I eat dinner, play with Jackson, bathe him, and put him down for bed at 7:30.  I am not compromising my brief time with Jackson to go to the gym.  At this time, I am also unwilling to wake up early (5 a.m.) to workout.  I am not mentally ready to give up processed sugars and carbs yet either.

Upcoming End of Grade Tests

To Care--The stakes are high, working as a strategically staffed teacher at a school of reform.  Our school has one more year to turn things around before the state intervenes.  My kids need to pass so they can show that they are prepared for middle school.  I need my kids to pass so I can continue to have high growth and proficiency.  

Not to Care--Seriously people, what else is there to do in five days that will suddenly cause a child to pass?  I've busted my ass all year and my kids still struggle.  I'm not going to work miracles this week.

Trying to Conceive

To Care--We are on our sixth cycle.  My OBGYN gave me the go ahead to come in for bloodwork and begin taking progesterone if nothing happened after six months.  I wanted our kids 18 months apart, but that window has already passed.  Do I make an appointment for next month?

Not to Care--I would like to try for National Board Certification or apply for higher education next year.  I wanted to try this year, but I thought I would be pregnant during the school year.  Should I just put things on hold and continue with my career goals? 


To Care--One of my major life goals is to get a Ph.D. in education.  The program I am looking at is at UNCC, which is about 10 minutes from our house.  I love being in school and want to be in a doctoral program by the time I am 30.  Applications are due in November to be accepted for the following August.  If I want to do this, I need start getting references together now.

Not to Care--I don't have the money or time to devote to a doctorate.  If I am already complaining about not spending enough time with Jackson and I would like another baby, why would I spend my time taking classes I can't afford?

Finances/Summer Job

To Care--Next month is my last paycheck until September.  We have exhausted our savings and I don't have any income.  Jesse will no longer by caring for Connor, and he may or may not be able to work any additional hours.  I could work weeks during summer school to get some extra money.

Not to Care--Things always work out somehow.  I need a break from students and I really want to spend time with Jack.  I already have some professional development classes that conflict with summer school, anyway.

1 comment:

  1. I care.

    God cares.

    It's hard when life is lived in the extremes...prayers for you BonnieKat!