Downtime and Flu Shots

It's no secret that I love being out and about.  When you're running errands, the house stays clean, the kids get a change of scenery, and I can interact with other adults.  Unfortunately, I like to stay busier than Jackson does.  It's taken me nearly three years to realize my introverted boy needs downtime to recover from an overly stimulating day.  After preschool, he sweetly asks, "You want to snuggle, Mommy?" He's perfectly content sitting on my lap while watching TV or being read to all afternoon.  Unfortunately, his three siblings demand my attention more. 

I had to take the babies for their second flu shot today by myself.  It really wasn't a big deal and if I had felt uncomfortable going alone I would have asked Jesse to take off work early.  The only thing I was slightly worried about was Jackson's unpredictable mood. Since their appointment was in the afternoon I knew I had to be careful not to exhaust Jackson so he would be my happy little helper. 

In attempts to preserve his energy, we had a very low key morning at home. Our day consisted of watching a lot of Umizoomi,

Even Amelia can't turn away

 tummy time,

 laundry,

Stuffing diapers is one of my least favorite chores.

and "car washes" (aka smearing shaving cream on a cookie sheet and running Jackson's cars through it).

When it came time for the babies' appointment, Jackson was eager to get out of the house.  It was pouring rain and so cold outside.  Jacks was very intent on dressing appropriately.

The receptionist had assured me when I scheduled the appointment that we would be in and out of the office in under thirty minutes. The pediatrician's office is one of those places that has multiple doors and winding hallways.  I didn't even consider using the quad stroller!   I opted to carry James and Amelia in their carseats and wear Maddie in the ergo. 

The nurse was amazing! She let me leave James and Amelia in their car seats and simply unbutton their pajamas.  All three fussed and screamed when the needle pierced their flesh, but no tears were shed.  I took these pictures AFTER their shots. 

Our fantastic nurse even carried James out to the van for me.  Jackson was a great helper opening doors for us. 

Jesse brought home pizza for dinner and we spent most of the evening on the couch.  Our brief outing did not expend enough energy as Jackson was obnoxiously loud and hyper.  He finally crashed after 8 p.m. 

Season of Lent: I'm Not Strong Enough

The first day of Lent left me feeling utterly defeated with entirely too much to process.  I've listened to this song at least a dozen times today.

After a bit of self reflection, my goal during this season of Lent is to admit that I cannot do it all and surrender my weaknesses to God.  I'm not entirely sure what that is going to look like, but that's where I'm going to start.

Sitting and Other Big Kid Updates

This has happened regularly over the past few days!  James is officially the first to sit unassisted. He still bends over a good bit rather than sitting up straight.  He has great balance and is able to pick up toys and put them down while sitting.   

Maddie is thriving when it comes to eating solids and is making great attempts at feeding herself.  She's still not quite coordinated enough with Cheerios, but she does well with veggie straws.  She's also the best eater with purees and table food and wastes nothing.

Amelia is scooting and rocking around.  This is how I find her most mornings-jabbering and smiling away with her arms completely extended. 

All three looked so big wearing their big kid pajamas the other night.

Ministry Opportunities

This morning was another early start for cooking breakfast for the homeless.  I perfected the previous meal by offering fresh fruit, only blueberry mini muffins, and kept the sausage/egg/cheese casserole the same.  They apparently woke up hungry because there was not a crumb left (much to Jesse's disappointment).  The guests were so respectful and kind.  I didn't feel at all rushed since I was familiar with the kitchen layout and had prepared as much as I could in advance.

If you've been following my blog, you're aware that I miss feeling valued and being able to share my gifts outside the realm of motherhood.  I've also been seeking ways to contribute to the family financially by doing something meaningful.  I also am trying to challenge myself to build relationships with others while serving Christ.

Well....

My pastor knows these things as well.  I sent him an e-mail last week asking if he knew of any long-term service opportunities that fit my schedule since Room in the Inn only operates in the winter.  He happened to be the overnight coordinator of the homeless ministries last night and was the one to let me in at 4:30 this morning.  We discussed possible ministry opportunities as I sliced strawberries and assembled the casserole.  He asked me directly if I would consider taking leadership with the high school youth group (with compensation).  The current DCE has accepted another job and is resigning in July.  I've not committed to anything but this could most definitely be an answer to many prayers.

Rainy Day Fun: Open Gym

I've posted before about taking the kids to the local rec center for indoor play.  (It happened to be the first outing using the quad stroller when I accidentally folded all four kids up inside.)  If the weather prohibits us from going to the park, we head to the playroom to burn off some energy.  They have a floor to ceiling indoor jungle gym that is always open to the public for free. 

Today was the perfect day for the rec center because...

1. The weather was cold and rainy.
2. I was meeting Charlotte Mommies friends for a play date from 1:30-3.
3. Monday afternoon is "open gym" for children ages five and under. 

I've never gone before during open gym because I assumed it was literally just a gymnasium open for kids to run around.  On the contrary, there were little trikes, huge balls, dress up clothes/helmets, hula hoops, and bean bags available for young children to play with.  Even with all the equipment, some of the kids had more fun running up and down the bleachers.

Jackson spent the most time on various trikes, though he used them as walkers rather than using his feet to pedal.

There were even toys appropriate for the babies such as padded equipment and tunnels to crawl through. 

Of course, we don't have crawlers yet so I laid them on our blanket and let them play with our toys from home.  I enjoyed talking to my mommy friends while the big kids wore themselves out.

Jackson was so hyper and comical on the ride to the library that I took video of his nonsense.  He was making up songs and laughing at the silliest things.

Looks like we have a new free resource to take advantage of on Monday afternoons!

Park Photo Diary

Instead of our usual weekend visit with the in-laws at our house, I asked if we could meet at the park.  With another crazy weather week and a forecast of snow, I want to soak up every possible minute of 70° sunshine.  Plus, Jackson's BFF/cousin, Levi, was coming as well so I knew the boys would have fun together. Here are some of the highlights from our afternoon at the park:

Built in swing buddies!

I'm not sure if James or Amelia smiled more.

There weren't any kiddie swings open so Jackson got to swing with his MiMi.

Harwood Invasion: We should have just rented out the park.

Jackson cheating his was through the swinging rings with the help of Jesse.

RAWR!

Slide races

Follow the leader

Maddie was the first to pass out.

Then they all started dropping like flies...

Exhaustion setting in, even after a popsicle break

Time to go home

Even though the kids and I frequent a park once a week, it was much more fun to be able to share the experience with other family members.  I can't think of a better way to spend the afternoon. ♥

Life as a SAHM: Is this it?

A local mom asked me the other day, "What do you do for a living?"  I wanted to say, "I'm a Nationally Board Certified Teacher with a master's degree, but I'm taking the year off."  Instead I replied, "Oh, I stay home with the kids."

My pin to prove it arrived in the mail this week.

. . .

I've been asked by three different people today about going back to work.
"Do you miss working?"
"Are you going to work next year?"
"What do you do now that you aren't working?"

I understand what they're asking.  Really and truly, I get it.  But I want to scream, "I AM WORKING!"  I want to explain that I'm busting my ass every single day trying to entertain and educate Jackson, provide new experiences for the babies, cook healthy meals from scratch every night, run errands with a giant stroller full of children, keep up with the infinite amounts of dirty laundry, dishes, and trash, and on and on and on.  I want to convince them that the work I do as a mother is far more challenging and demanding than my work as a classroom teacher.  But I don't know that they'd get it.

I never feel like it's enough.  I have it in my head that staying home just isn't good enough.  I think it stems back to my opinion of my mother as a stay at home mom.  I've always had the perception that stay at home moms are lazy and spoiled.  Yet, I don't view myself or other friends that stay home that way.

I miss teaching.  I miss the sense of camaraderie and friendship I formed with my teammates.  I miss the recognition and affirmations that I did my job well.  I miss having students ask about my day and exchanging stories about our weekends.  I miss making SmartBoard lessons that I know will engage students.  I feel like so many aspects of teaching are changing and I'm getting left behind.

The monotony and lack of appreciation that comes with being a stay at home mom is difficult.  It's hard to go from managing diverse behaviors of 25 students to struggling to get a two year old to clean up the yogurt he smeared all over the table.  It's hard to go from effective time management navigating lessons and hallway transitions, to always being late because you can't find a pacifier or someone spit up and requires a wardrobe change.

I always feel the need to conclude any blog posts with some kind of feel good reflection, but the truth is, I feel constantly torn about where I am and what I'm doing with my life.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE spending time with my children...so much so that I can't even fathom leaving them to the care of a nanny or daycare provider.  I'm not at all unhappy with my decision to stay home, yet I still mourn leaving the classroom and I wonder what my future looks like.  Am I living up to my full potential?  Am I just a mom?  Is this it?