I regularly (at least weekly):
- drive
- vacuum
- steam mop
- move furniture to sweep under couches
- shave my legs
- cook dinner
- do the dishes
- feed the cats, rescue them when they escape outside
- carry Jackson downstairs
- run errands
- walk around WalMart or the mall
- unload groceries
- shower, dry hair, get dressed, etc
- play with Jackson on couch or bed (play dough, color, read stories, etc)
I can no longer:
- bathe Jackson
- bend over to sweep piles off the floor
- get out of bed by simply sitting up
- carry Jackson for more than a few minutes
- chase, run, roll on the floor, etc with Jackson
- walk around the neighborhood
- rock Jackson to sleep (where he lays on my stomach/chest)
- change, dress, or play with Jackson on the floor
- use a non-handicap public restroom (can't close the door)
- balance on one foot (aka put pants on without holding onto something)
- paint my toenails
- sleep for more than two consecutive hours
Unfortunately, many of the things I am unable to physically do involve Jackson. He takes his frustration out on me by biting, pinching, and hitting the babies (my belly) and I. He sometimes shouts "No Mommy" or "No babies". If I reprimand him for his negative behaviors he literally runs away from me and cries "I want Daddy". His outbursts aren't constant and he shows plenty of affection towards me, but he often won't allow me to pick him up, change his diaper, or play with him. When he's in his room and in such a mood he screams for "Daddy" and shoves the door on my belly to kick me out. It's emotionally exhausting to know that you can't care for your son in the way he wants you to, and that he doesn't understand why. I fear it will get worse before it gets better.
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