I have a confession.
I've been cheating on y'all.
For the past few weeks I've spent more energy writing articles to submit to online magazines than I have for my own blog. It's one of my secret goals. I decided that of all my hobbies, blogging is my favorite. I like the pictures and storytelling and the connections created.
Therefore, I've decided to write and submit articles to a variety of online magazines and websites. They are all topics related to motherhood. My submissions have been both declined and accepted by various places, but none of it has been published yet.
I've also decided to use Google AdSense to try and monetize the blog. And by "monetize" I mean a whopping 2 cents per click. I've gone back and forth on this for over a year, but have finally decided that no harm will come from a small advertisement on the sidebar.
Both of these decisions to submit articles and allow advertisements have weighed heavy on my mind. It's not about making money, attracting an audience, or getting more clicks. Those aren't my goals at all. If they were, I wouldn't feel as vulnerable.
I never thought I could possibly miss teacher evaluations, but I do. I thrive on feedback and constructive criticism. I don't necessarily miss being in the classroom at this time, but I do miss having professional goals.
I think that's one of the hardest parts of being a stay-at-home-mom. The feedback I receive is a psychotic meltdown over serving PB&J instead of ham and cheese or getting kisses after playing peekaboo. There's no real definition of success or failure as a mother. Am I succeeding because I kept my kids safe and relatively clean? Or am I failing because Jackson can't write his name and the triplets don't have a great vocabulary?
Since my current career is motherhood, it makes sense for me to write on the subject I know most about. While an editor of a magazine can't evaluate me as a mother, (s)he can at least give me some feedback on writing. Any published writing can receive further commentary from the readers. I don't know what exactly I'm hoping to accomplish. Perhaps a sense of validation. Maybe I just want a voice in the online community of mothers. Whatever may result, I'll continue to post our daily ramblings and photos, while also devoting time to reading and writing.