Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I Hate Breastfeeding--Tuesday, April 12

I swear Jackson doesn’t sleep.  He woke up to eat at 10, 11, 12, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 9.  This is especially difficult since I’m delirious and still figuring out what I’m doing with this whole breastfeeding thing.  Keep in mind he eats for 15-20 minutes, burps for 5 minutes, gets a diaper change from daddy for another 5 minutes, and then attempts to settle back down.  We currently have him in the pack-n-play bassinet beside our bed.  He is still spitting up a lot and Jesse had to suction him a few times.  I literally slept about 15 minutes each hour.  By the time I was comfortable he was awake again.  When we finally decided to start the day after the 7 a.m. feeding, I was STARVING.  Nursing is draining.  He is literally sucking all the nutrients and energy out of me every hour.  I nearly passed out in the shower.  I also discovered that lazy latching has turned my nipples into scabs.  They are cracked, bleeding, and in PAIN!
On the topic of breastfeeding, after all the events of yesterday I neglected to discuss engorgement.  My milk is starting to come in, which is great for Jackson—not so much for me.  My sister had warned me of the porn star physique I would soon have, and she was right!  I actually made Jesse pick up my breasts to feel how hard and heavy they are.  I wish I could somehow weigh them.  They’ve got to be ten pounds each.  The engorgement probably didn’t help with last night’s painful feedings. 
Jan and Jeff came over today.  They had Levi with them since Jeff takes care of Levi during the day.  Jackson and I napped and nursed while Jeff mowed our lawn and Jan watched Levi.  Jan and Jeff were kind enough to bring us their pack-n-play that has a bassinet and changing table.  Jesse put that together for downstairs.  You would have thought Jesse and I would have been more prepared about these things, especially considering I went past my due date.  We just wanted everything to be cute and not necessarily practical.  It has taken us one day to figure out we need burp cloths and receiving blankets in every room of the house, not just the nursery.  We also need a place for him to nap and change his diapers both upstairs and downstairs.  Duh!
Before Jan left she helped us give Jackson his first sponge bath at home.  I’m afraid he takes after his mother already with oily hair.  He takes after his daddy with dry skin.  Despite the imperfections, he is seriously an adorable baby.  I will be the first to say I can’t stand babies.  I have never liked infants and I so look forward to being able to have conversations with Jackson and chase him around the house.  But, he really is just a beautiful baby.  And now he smells good, too!
I miss the nurses bringing me Tylenol and Ibuprofen around the clock because I have been too busy to remember to take it at home and am suffering now.  We tried to have a normal dinner at the dinner table but I seriously can’t sit down on those hard chairs.  I tried to place a pillow under me but I kept sliding.  We ate on the couch but we still prayed and I wouldn’t let Jesse turn the TV on.  I want dinner time to be family time each day, just like it was growing up.
Crossing my fingers Jackson sleeps tonight…
Post Bath Nap in New Bassinet

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