Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Is This How I Am Supposed to Feel?--Wednesday, April 20

I had another bad dizzy spell in the shower this morning.  I have also been especially tired today.  I took two naps (with Jackson) which were the first naps I've taken during the day since being in the hospital.  It is so hard to gauge what an appropriate level of tired is.  Is this how I should feel a week and a half post partum or should I be concerned?  I've read plently online that general fatigue, headaches, and dizziness are expected due to the severe change in hormones in the weeks after birth.  I've also read that anemia, post partum depression, and pre-eclampsia all have the same symptoms.  I'm trying not to psyche myself out but if I still feel like this tomorrow I'm going to call the doctor. Today is the first day I haven't left the house, not even to go outside.  I just feel tired and light headed.

On top of the exhaustion, my back hurts.  I've had a dull back ache since labor, but up until last night I had more or less been taking Tylenol and Advil around the clock.  Since my tear is starting to feel better and I can sit at the table, I decided to wean myself off of all medication (except a vitamin of course).  Anyway, I went ahead and scheduled my chiropractor appointment and made an appointment for Jackson as well for next Monday.  My chiropractor specializes in prenatal care and infants.  I am so excited to see if I notice any difference in Jackson.  Chiropractic care is supposed to be so good for infants.

Jackson met his great grandmother today.  She doesn't drive so Jesse went to pick her up.  Of course she just admired him and bragged about how proud she was of Jesse and I.  Apparently she was expecting to go out to eat with Jesse, Jackson, and I.  The idea of going out in public this early makes me a bit nervous.  Not so much because of the germs, but just because I haven't been able to nurse using my nursing cover and we haven't had to travel with the wet bag and cloth diapers yet.  And of course I still worry about him crying and people judging me and my child.  I'm already anxious about this Sunday because we will be out of the house from 10 a.m. until 8 p.m. driving to church, then Gastonia for Easter lunch and egg hunt, then Salisbury for Easter dinner.

Jackson sleeps so well when he is with me.  I love knowing that he takes comfort hearing my heart beat.  And I love snuggling with him in the Moby wrap, on my stomach, or beside his tiny bed.  His new talent is that when he is first getting hungry he will army crawl and completely pivot his body to get in perfect cradle position on my chest.  He suckles on my shirt exactly where he should.  It totally cracks me up.  Of course he gets fussy if I take too long to feed him. 

We've been trying out the bouncer and swing a good bit more this week, so I'll leave with this picture:

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